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Post by LANCE DAVIDSON on Apr 5, 2015 14:40:57 GMT
What was so confusing? Everything! Everything about his feelings were confusing. For years his sights were locked onto on person. They still were. They were just... all aggravated and stirred up now.
Falling in love? What? With this punk? "Tch," he hissed and pushed the kid off to the side and started to rub his forehead with his fingertips as if trying to coax a headache away.
What could come out of being in love with this kid? What type of future could they possibly have? It wasn't that Lance couldn't see Lukas having potential. He clearly had potential in his music just from the practice a few moments ago. They were just... "The fuck do you know."
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Post by LUKAS SAUVAGEAU on Apr 6, 2015 3:08:34 GMT
Although he'd staggered to the side, Lukas turned swift after he'd caught himself. What did he know about love? Nothing. There wasn't a goddamn person for which he cared. Not a single person. At least, that's what the kid always told himself. And to hear it splash off the man's lips, he felt rage fester in his chest.
He didn't say anything, just glared at Lance. The guy was alright playing around, but when he got burned he blamed Lukas for starting the fire. "I don't know shit," he spat, hands balled into little fists that shook more visibly the lower his gaze fell.
"What's so wrong with feeling anything?" Fuck, those words burned his throat. "What's wrong with that?!" He punched the wall, then again with much more vigor for good measure. "How is that confusing? You know you can feel two ways at the same time."
Lukas had gone off, he was pacing around Lance ranting at his palms. "You can!" He looked up at him, "You can hate something and love it, you can love two things, you can." But it was clear he wasn't talking about anything relevant to anyone but himself.
"You can be a good guy that does bad things. Sometimes bad people do the best things. IT'S NOT ALL BLACK AND WHITE, MICHAEL." It didn't have to always be so black and white, there was the area between full of shades and color...
When Lukas realized he wasn't making any sense he stopped, chewed his lip and glared at Lance for a moment. He wished he'd just went away without saying anything. Because now he felt stupid, and the defeat was clear in his eyes. "Lance," he corrected, oddly calm, "I meant Lance."
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Post by LANCE DAVIDSON on Apr 6, 2015 3:17:47 GMT
He just watched him, circling him like a hawk who'd found its prey. Though when the foreign name escaped past the boy's lips, Lance perked a brow. Lukas corrected himself, but now Lance was stuck on that.
"No, no... Go back. Who's Michael?" He asked, gesturing in the air with his hand. He was glad that the focus wasn't on him anymore and instead on this person the punk knew.
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Post by LUKAS SAUVAGEAU on Apr 6, 2015 3:35:34 GMT
With grit teeth, Lukas glared at the man. Gaze unbroken, he shook his head. "Don't you worry about Michael," he answered sternly, "you got enough to worry about, don't you?" The words may have been spoken sweetly, but the point was dragged through poison.
Hands shoved into his pockets, shoulders shrugged as he glanced around. Maybe it was better if he got outta here. He wasn't sure if he trusted Lance to let him spend the night again, though he wasn't sure if he wanted to stay with him now.
"I'm done here." He stated, head lowered as he started to walk away.
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Post by LANCE DAVIDSON on Apr 6, 2015 3:40:12 GMT
Lance didn't like the way Lukas spoke to him like that, all sweet yet condescending. It irked him and he took a step forward. "The fuck is that supposed to mean?" He questioned him with a heavy tone of anger in his voice.
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Post by LUKAS SAUVAGEAU on Apr 6, 2015 3:48:52 GMT
Of course, the boy wasn't one to back down willingly. So when Lance took a step forward, he whipped around and came close to him, staring straight up at him. Fearless, but always foolish. Lukas had an intensity about him, speaking quickly when he answered: "You don't tell me shit that's going on, so what do I owe you?" He stood flush with Lance, hoping he'd strike. "Who the fuck are you hung-up on? Huh?" Did he not think that hurt to hear? Lukas was more upset, the longer he allowed himself to linger here. He wanted to be important, he wanted to be the one on his mind. The kid didn't wanna be a replacement, or second-best to someone unknown.
He was so tired of being used and flung aside. "I want you," he admitted, grabbing the man by his forearms and squeezing tighter than intended, "I don't wanna share you with anyone else." Lukas gave his arms a shake, "I wanna be someone you write songs about..."
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Post by LANCE DAVIDSON on Apr 6, 2015 15:12:47 GMT
He stood there and let the man speak, watching how upset he was getting over it, that spark in Lukas' eyes. Lance's expression softened the longer he listened and understood what was going on. It wasn't his intention to lead this guy into falling for him. He was trying to have fun again, remember what it was like to be happy before his heart was so torn up.
But, now Lukas wanted him. "I can't... promise you what you're wanting," He replied softly, reaching up to run a hand through Lukas' hair despite his arm being gripped so tight. Lance held the side of the smaller boy's face, examining him. "I'm sorry if you've felt strung around. I haven't been trying to replace Salem."
Finally, a name drop. Surely Lukas had heard about him? "I've just been trying to have fun." Isn't that what Lukas was trying to do? In all honesty, Lance was forming feelings for Lukas, too. But he didn't understand how he could want both. He was scared.
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Post by LUKAS SAUVAGEAU on Apr 7, 2015 1:28:34 GMT
There wasn't a thing wrong with having fun. They did have fun together, but that's where the problem lied. Lukas wanted to keep having fun, too. Whoever it was plaguing the man's mind, he didn't want to come over one day and find them in Lance's apartment. For Lance to look at up somewhat surprised. To quickly get up, a palm flat against Lukas' chest as he guided him out the door. Then told it's best they don't hang around anymore, or that Lukas could come back later when this guy was gone.
No one else treated him so kindly. Although opposed, once those finger reached his scalp it was all over. Lukas let go, setting his forehead against the latter's chest. Salem... what a stupid name. When he inhaled, he dragged Lance's scent into his lungs and choked on it. As he coughed, his face remained buried. If Lance tried, he wouldn't lift his head for him. Despite his complete silence, the way his slender fingers pulled at his shirt, the dampness, it was clear that the boy was crying.
Not because of Lance, however their uncertain relationship played a part too, but because everything. And that instead of pushing him away, the man chose to stroke his hair and touch his face. It was far too humanizing for him to handle.
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Post by LANCE DAVIDSON on Apr 7, 2015 1:40:45 GMT
Lance would be lying if he said he wasn't expecting the boy to start crying. If not by sadness, then by anger. He could feel his shirt getting wetter and wetter, Lukas' fingers growing tighter and tighter. As he sat there holding the fabric of Lance's shirt, Lance wrapped his arms around the smaller male and pulled him close. He hugged him tight, shared his warmth, though stayed silent as he did so.
As much as he liked to lead on, Lance wasn't heartless. He just... was really terrible at explaining himself. He didn't like to talk or communicate. He wasn't about that. It was too difficult for him to try and do. It made him nervous and irritated.
Even still, he kept his arms wrapped around the boy tightly.
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Post by LUKAS SAUVAGEAU on Apr 7, 2015 2:07:35 GMT
Once he felt those larger arms wrap around him, the boy's body broke down. He sobbed, no longer able to stay quiet. Why? The one person he liked, that liked him, had already been infected by someone else. All his kindness, all the tenderness that warmed the boy's frigid heart, may one day disappear. He'd survive, he'd go back to how he was, but then he'd always remember those days when he'd been alive. Clean, breathing, loved.
When he couldn't cry anymore, which was only a few more minutes, he rubbed his face on the man's shirt and pulled away. Lukas hid his face beneath his lowered head. "I gotta piss," he spoke, trying to make his pliable self crude again.
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