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Mar 27, 2015 22:11:17 GMT
Post by NATHAN SAUNDERS on Mar 27, 2015 22:11:17 GMT
the water is denser than he imagines. he manages to shut his eyes out of reflex, but doesn't close his mouth on time. treading on water, his head pulls into overdrive and so he sits up involuntarily. he parts the water for a moment when he separates from the sea, waves run away from him.
he has to splutter, cough, grasp his throat, but he is so desperate he doesn't wait until his mouth is acceptably dry.
"tara." he splutters. resigned, hopeless; and the sadness finally seeps into his voice. he's tried, and lost.
"why can't i die?"
@tara
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Mar 27, 2015 22:26:04 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2015 22:26:04 GMT
don't talk like that. she hates that he says her name like it's a lifeline. give her a confessional and she'll list all the reasons why nathan in wrong. everything proves further and further that she's a hypocrite. "don't say that." she drops his hand puts the heels of her hands against her eyes; the waves are howling and they're mad. "i know that—" she takes a shaky breath. "don't throw yourself away like that. you're fine. it's okay." she desperately needs to believe that, because it doesn't matter if nathan doesn't want to be. she will make him, drag him, kicking and screaming if she has to. in her mind she's underwater, bubbles reaching up to the surface while seaweed snakes around her ankles. she takes a step further, in the water, the river styx. NATHAN SAUNDERS |
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played by BOO
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Mar 27, 2015 22:31:54 GMT
Post by NATHAN SAUNDERS on Mar 27, 2015 22:31:54 GMT
he shrivels into a mockery of himself, a facade gone wrong. his hands over his face and he forces every breath out, trying to stretch them out until they even out.
all he can smell is seawater and the cold air hitting his face. it's clinical, and it's scares him. his fingers tremble, and he curls more into himself. the seawater is so cold he is completely numb.
he can't hold back his sobs and he can't give her an answer. his stupid illusions had inevitably failed him. no one, can save him.
he feels like heaving.
his mouth is dry.
@tara
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Mar 27, 2015 22:45:54 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2015 22:45:54 GMT
abruptly, she remembers seeing nathan in the club, utterly convinced that she was tripping on something bad. alone, under the lights, she thought about walking away. she actually thought about it, as if it was an option. was it? she feels ashamed for even thinking it, then and now, because if that were true she'd leave again—first montreal, now flandres. she doesn't remember hugging nathan, but she is, right now, wrapping her hands around him and gripping at his back, his hair. she rests her forehead on his collarbone and sighs. she remembers being surprised, the morning after they'd seen each other, that he wasn't dead already. "maybe i should have stayed away."NATHAN SAUNDERS |
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played by BOO
with 92 for
// APP
& PLOT
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Mar 27, 2015 22:54:56 GMT
Post by NATHAN SAUNDERS on Mar 27, 2015 22:54:56 GMT
his grip his shaky, but it doesn't lack desperation. he cries openly then, his whole body shaking. dark hospital rooms. a ring of people. whispers, talk of would bes and could bes and disgusting, revolting sympathy. he doesn't even realise that a migraine managed to sink into his head, til now.
the clock in on single digits. the noose is so vivid he can almost touch it.
"don't leave me." he pleads, quiet, and his head sinks into her shoulder, and pleads. pleads.
she's warm, and much like the cigarette he discarded in the sand, it smooths him out a little.
@tara
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Mar 27, 2015 23:29:52 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2015 23:29:52 GMT
confirmation, that's what she wants; to demand it like it's her god-given right. nathan is crying and she can't block it out anymore. she can't shove him away. "i won't." she drags one hand away, digs into her pocket and finds a pill, swallows it dry. her hands are near his neck and she turns her head to speak into his ear. "come with me next time."she leans her torso back, using her sleeve pat away at his tears, because she let him cry and it was unnerving how much they fit on his face. red eyes and wet cheeks shouldn't suit someone so well. "come with me." she'll drag him down, too. she doesn't know how to stay with him any other way. she's miles under the earth, running out of oxygen. NATHAN SAUNDERS |
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played by BOO
with 92 for
// APP
& PLOT
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Mar 27, 2015 23:57:09 GMT
Post by NATHAN SAUNDERS on Mar 27, 2015 23:57:09 GMT
this is a regression. he thinks in his cloudy, lulled mind. this is a regression, but he's too blind to see it.
he doesn't know its possible to stick so close to someone. it's as if his bones have left his body, melded into hers and even when she moves, lets him go a little, he can't peel himself away.
he kisses at her neck, it's a mark. he's a parasite. a virus. he breathes easier, at least. his eyelids are heavy, skin sagging, bones rattling. it's a progression, he supposes.
@tara
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